


Seat 17

by trailerparktrixie



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:37:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9652190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trailerparktrixie/pseuds/trailerparktrixie
Summary: Christen was leaving Tobin and Lilly again.  Her time was up according to the flashing light.  It broke her heart more and more each time.  As far as they knew she was going on a business trip. Giving her kisses and hugs good bye.  So cruel it was.  Christen was going back to reality where Tobin and their daughter Lilly didn’t exist except as a program on a computer.And I have to live without them for another week.  A week in reality that was less real than this dream.  A dream I pay for. Christen was gutted.  She wanted them so.Christen didn’t know how many others chose this virtual dream.  Dream 23 that she always had in seat 17.  She just knew she hated them.  Tobin and Lilly belonged to her.Very much Preath.  Totally AU.  Black Mirror, Twilight Zone and Raymond Bradbury roots. Come on over to the dark side.  You’ll like it.Come along for a different ride.





	1. Do I Want?

Christen was leaving Tobin and Lilly again.  Her time was up according to the flashing light.  It broke her heart more and more each time.  As far as they knew she was going on a business trip. Giving her kisses and hugs good bye.  So cruel it was.  Christen was going back to reality where Tobin and their daughter Lilly didn’t exist except as a program on a computer.  _And I have to live without them for another week.  A week in reality that was less real than this dream.  A dream I pay for._ Christen was gutted.  She wanted them so.

Christen didn’t know how many others chose this virtual dream.  Dream 23 that she always had in seat 17.  She just knew she hated them.  Tobin and Lilly belonged to her.

 

*******

 

Four months before

 

Christen left work for her lunch.  Not telling anyone where she was going.  Here she was sitting in the parking lot of Dream Escape and fighting with herself to not start her car and drive away.  This was the second time that she had been there.  Her friends were doing it.  Hell everyone was doing.  Raving about it.  She was conflicted about a machine being in her mind.  Not being in control.  Her friends could only tell her they were but they weren’t.  _What kind of answer was that?  Fuck it.  I’m going in._

Mark saw the woman enter the store.  He could tell she was nervous.  Some were gung-ho when they came in.  Others were like her, conflicted and leery.

 

“Hi.  My name is Mark.  May I help you?”

 

Christen jumped.  She hadn’t even seen him approaching.  “Yes.  I was thinking about giving this a try.”

 

“Great.  I’m the owner of this location.  I have been doing this about three years now.  I started as a dream programmer and now I own this franchise. Is this your first time?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ok.  Would you like to follow me back to a consultation room and we can talk about the services we offer?  I can explain the process in more detail and help you understand what to expect from it.”  Mark gently offered while turning sideways and beginning the walk to an open room.

 

“Yes.  I would like to know a little bit more about how this works before I commit to anything.”  Christen said as she fell in beside him.

 

“Well, I know I asked you if you’d like to but this actually mandatory.  Have you been to our website or read up on dream virtual reality?”

 

“Yes I have.  I also have some friends that have done it.”  Christen said while taking a seat.  _Everything seems neat and clean.  It’s quiet.  Subdued even._

 

“Good to know.  This is a headset.  They have come a long way in past few years.  Used to be big clunky things.  We just attached these two sensors to your forehead and these two to your temples with a light adhesive.”  Mark explained as he passed the headset to Christen.  “We cue up the dream you’ve selected and then you just need to relax and start visualizing it.”

 

Christen looked at the headset.  It was exactly as pictured on the website.  “I have concerns.  About control.”

 

“Completely normal.  I wouldn’t believe you if you said you didn’t.  We have a little trial run program.  Going to the grocery store.”

 

“Grocery store?”  Christen could not believe this. _Of all things!  You would think they would pick something with more awe to it._

 

“Yep.  I know it might seem rather bland.  Everyone goes to one at some point.  It is so you are doing something familiar.  It gives a level of comfort, you know what to expect.  Would you like to try it?  Takes ten minutes and it is free of charge.”

 

“Would it be possible to actually see the dream room first?  Maybe see people using it?”

 

“Sure.  We can do whatever you need to feel more comfortable about it.”  Mark answered with a genuine smile as he led Christen out of the door and back to the dream room.  “Here we are.”

 

Christen looked around.  Each chair was almost semi private.  The people sitting in them were all smiling or looking serenely relaxed.  She noticed lights flashing above some of the chairs.  Some green, others yellow, a few red.  Staff were helping a customers into or out of their headsets.  It was very calm and sedate.  Mark led her back to the consultation room.

 

“I noticed the lights.  That’s the warning for programs time remaining right?”

 

“Yes.  You will see the light in your dream sort of off to the side so you know how much time you have and can chose how to end your session.”

 

“How do you end it?”

 

“Your choice.  You can play it out until time elapses or you can make an exit.  The computer takes up your thought and moves the scene that way.  The elements of your dream just accept it.  They don’t have feelings other than the ones you give them.  The computer suggests their behavior and then tailors it to your responses.”

 

“May I try the grocery store?”

 

“Absolutely.  We can do it right now in here.  I just need you to move to that recliner over there and I am going to dim the lights a bit.  We do it in here because usually there is some talking and we don’t want to disturb our other customers.”

 

Christen moved to the recliner.  Mark dimmed the lights and brought over a headset which he plugged into the receptacle.  “I am going to attach the sensors.  There we go.  Go ahead and recline the seat.  Now I am going to turn it on.”

 

Christen did as she was instructed but tensed up.  “How do I…..”

 

“Close your eyes and relax.  Start at your feet and work your way up.  Think about where you’re going and as you become relaxed you will just slip into it.”

 

Christen tried but it wasn’t working.  Mark was not surprised.  “I am going to turn on the heater in the seat.  A little warmth helps some people to relax a little easier. Do you like guacamole?”

 

“I do?”

 

“Know how to make it?”

 

“Yes. I have my own special recipe”

 

“OK.  So work on relaxing and visualize yourself going into a store to buy what you need to make a batch.”  Mark suggested.

 

Christen could feel the gentle warmth in the seat.  It did help.  She then imagined walking into her favorite grocery store.  It started to become more real by the second.  She could feel the buggy handle in her hand as she pushed the cart.  Good.  She didn’t get one that wobbled.  She hated that. She walked towards the fresh fruit and veggie aisle.  Avocadoes.  She needed avocadoes.  There they were.  Only three and they didn’t look good.”

 

“Ma’am, I was just bringing out a new shipment.”  Christine looked up.  A stock boy was pushing a cart towards her with cases of avocadoes on it.  He opened the top case.  “These will be much better.”

 

“Thank you.”  Christen said as she made her selection.  Christen turned and walked down the aisle picking up a red onion, cilantro, lime, garlic, and tomatoes.  _This is all I need._ Christen continued to the check out and noticed the green light flashing in her peripheral vision.  The Cashier was friendly and efficient.  As Christen paid she saw the light start to flash yellow.  _I need to get out of here._ Christen walked out the front door and woke in the consultation office slightly confused.

 

“What?  Where?  Oh. It was so real.”  Christen marveled.

 

“I get that a lot.”  Mark chuckled as he removed the sensors from Christens skin and tuned off the chair heater.  “So what did you think?  How do you feel?”

 

“Like I want to make guacamole.”  Christen laughed.

 

“Ha.  Here is a brochure listing many of our highest ranking dreams to choose from but there are more on line to browse through.  Just read them over.  Each is a summary of what the experience is tailored to.  We require that you wait 24 hours before you are allowed to have a session, just to make sure you are comfortable with it.”

 

“Thank you Mark.  I feel much better about it.  I need to get back to work now. Thank you for your time.”

 

“Thank you for stopping in and I hope we hear from you.”  Mark said as her guided Christen to the front door.

 

Christen pulled her car in Chipotle and got her favorite veggie burrito bowl with double guacamole.  She kept replaying the experience in her head.  _It didn’t feel wrong.  I controlled everything.  I could feel the money in my hand.  The coins were even cold.  That’s it. I’m doing it.  My guacamole is way better._

 

“Hi ya Press.”  Syd called out.  “I saw your car over at Dream Escape.  Ready to give it a go?  What are you going to do?  Get your freak on?  Go sky diving?  Be a rock star?”

 

“Uugh.  I don’t know.  I haven’t really looked over the possibilities.”  Christen lied.  She knew exactly what she wanted.  She wanted dream number 23, Tobin and Lilly.  She knew Syd wouldn’t understand.  Christen was tired of the bar scene and first dates.  She wondered what it would be like to be settled down, having a real life with someone.  The dream summarized a 6 year relationship with Tobin (a 27 year old woman) that started in college and a 4 year old daughter.  Syd would think that was a waste.  Friday.  She would go Friday after work.  Christen vaguely wondered why dream 23 required approval as she booked a chair for Friday evening at Dream Escape.


	2. #23, Getting Approved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen knows what she wants.

5:00 Friday evening.  Christen shut down her computer and cleaned off her desk.  This was it.  She was going to do it.

 

“Press.  What are you doing this weekend?  The gals and I are going out to that hot new bar, the Pink Pistol this Saturday.  Come with us?”

 

“Sorry Syd.  I’m a little tired.”  Christen demurred.

 

“That gives you all night to rest up.  Come on?  Unless you got something hot going on tonight?  Is that it?”

 

“No.”  Christen shot her a frown.

 

“How about Dream Escapes?  I could do that?  I can show you some of the best dreams?”

 

“Still haven’t decided about that.”  Christen hedged.

 

“Pressy, you haven’t been right for months.  What’s up?”  Syd queried.

 

“Maybe I am just tired of the same old thing.  Work.  Bars.  Meet.  Nothing.” 

 

“Come with us Saturday.  I will make it my job to find you a quality girl.”

 

“Maybe.” 

 

“I’ll call you.”  Syd said as she walked out the door.

 

Christen waited 10 minutes to make sure Syd was gone and then made her way to Dream Escape.

 

“Hello.  My name is Allie.  May I help you?”  The blonde behind the counter called out as she rose to greet Christen.

 

“Yes.  I made a reservation for tonight.  My name is Christen Press.”  Christen said as she fiddled with the strap to her purse.

 

“Yes.  I see it right here.  Mark did your consultation last Wednesday.”

 

“That’s me.”

 

“Alright.  Since it is your first time we’ll go back to a conference room and do a review and then discuss the dream you picked.”  Allie smiled brightly as she motioned for Christen to follow her.

 

“This is your headset.  We keep it on file here for your use only.  You relaxed better with the heater on.  Now I just need to know what dream you want.  Then we can talk about it and how you might approach it.”  Allie looked up as she checked off the items covered and waited to scribe down the dream Christen selected.  “Or do you need help picking one?”

 

“I know which one I want.  It was marked as needing approval although it seems like a pretty tame one.”  Christen blushed. 

 

“Oh.  Which one?”

 

“Number 23, Tobin and Lilly.”  Christen answered. “Why does it require approval?”

 

“Good choice.  Honestly because of exactly what you just said.  It is tame when you compare it to all the other possibilities.  Usually people come here wanting excitement or adventure.  This one is just a slice of a regular ordinary life.  We want to make sure people understand that so they won’t be disappointed.”

 

 

“That sounds good to me.  Not that I’m like living it up right now and want to try something slower.  I just wonder what it would be like to be settled down.  Have a family of my own.  It appeals to me.”

 

“Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?  Remember, we have a confidentially clause so anything you tell me will be protected.”

 

20 minutes later Allie was walking into Mark’s office.  “Mark, Christen is here.”

 

“Great.  I thought she would do it.  Is there a problem?”

 

“Her dream needs approval.  It’s number 23.”

 

“23.  Tobin?”

 

“Yes.  I talked her for 20 minutes.  Sweet girl.  Two sisters.  Close to her parents.  Went to Stanford.  Use to play soccer.  Volunteers at a dog shelter.  Does yoga.  Cute giggle. Smiles like no tomorrow. Mark, you couldn’t find a better person.  It’s time to do this.”  Allie said as gently as she could.

 

Mark sat back.  “Why did she choose it?”

 

“Done with the bar scene.  Wants to experience a full, rounded life with someone.  A settled one but still filled with wonder and hope.”

 

Mark sat back.  Tobin.  He had not approved anyone yet.

 

“Mark.  You will not find a better one.  Trust me.  Or remove it.”  Allie said with a firmness.

 

Mark remember Christen distinctly.  Young.  Maybe 25, but mature.  Shy smile.  Her eyes.  Were they green or gray?  Long dark hair and warm brown skin.  And that little giggle she had.  He had to agree with Allie.  “Christen it is.  I’ll get her set up.”

 

Allie gave Mark a pat on the back as he walked to the consult room.

 

“Hi Christen.”

 

“Hi Mark.  Is everything ok?”

 

“Everything is fine.  Ready?”

 

“So my dream is approved?  Number 23 with Tobin.”

 

“Yes.  Allie is loading it now.  Any last questions?”

 

“The summary said I am an architect.  I don’t know anything about that.”

 

“It’s really just a tool.  In family dreams it helps people sometimes with leaving the dream.  A business trip say.  You won’t really need to know anything about it unless you want to.  The computer will help with that.”

 

“How do I get into the dream?”  Christen asked.  She hadn’t really thought about that.

 

“Good question.  You could enter it by imagining you are coming home from work.  Fix dinner then play a game or watch TV.  Or waking up on a Saturday and going to the zoo for the day.  Honestly, it helps as you get used to it to keep it small with fewer things in it.  Coming home from work with just Tobin and Lilly might work the best, but you decide.”

 

“Ok.  Coming home from work and making dinner actually sounds good to me.”  Christen gave another shy smile.

 

Mark led Christen to a chair in the middle of the room.  “Here we are.”  He said while gesturing at the recliner.

 

Christen looked around.  She really didn’t want to be in the middle.  “Anyway I can have that chair up in the corner off by its self?”  Christen asked.

 

“Chair number 17.  Sure.”  Mark kicked himself for not offering it first.  _She’s shy and a little leery still, you dope._

 

Christen settled in the chair.  Mark put on her headset and turned on the heater.  “Remember to just lie back and start relaxing from the feet up.  When you get comfortable just start visualizing coming home from work and you will just slip into it.  Like you did at the grocery store.  If it gets uncomfortable just walk out the door or go to a bathroom and just decide to wake up.  Ok?”

 

“Got it.  Thanks Mark.”  With that Christen closed her eyes.

 

*****************

 

The next thing Christen knew she was pulling into a driveway.  In front of her was a two story brown and tan Tudor.  It was very similar to one she grew up in.  Without thinking about it she reached up and hit the transmitter and the garage door opened.  Inside it was a Volvo station wagon.  _What am I driving?_ Christen looked down.  A Volvo S60.  _We like Swedish cars?_

 

Christen parked and hit the transmitter again to close the overhead door.  She exited the car and walked to the entry door.  It opened into a mudroom and she set her purse down.  No jacket.  _It must be warm out. Look at all the cubbies.  That tiny little jacket.  Oh those baby blue little converse sneakers are adorable. They must be Lilly’s._ She walked into the kitchen to find a woman with her head stuck in a refrigerator.

 

“Hey babe.  Glad you’re home.  Just in time to start helping me with “quesadillas cause we can” dinner.”  The woman said as she closed the refrigerator door holding an arm load of peppers, onions and cheese.

 

_Tobin?  This has to be Tobin.  Jesus._ Christen looked her over.  Sun kissed light brunette.  Dark brown eyes and a smile that went on forever.  Christen watched her move about.  _Lanky. Tan. Comfortable with herself.  Just my type._

“Mommy.”

 

Christen turned to see a small child running towards her.  _Mommy?_

The child ran to her hugging her leg and then reached up with both her arms.  Christen automatically picked her up.  _This is my daughter.  Our daughter.  Lilly._ Christen examined the child.  Large smile with tiny teeth.  Warm brown eyes and slightly tawny skin with a halo of dark blonde hair.  _Definitely a Tobin mini me._

 

“I made you a picture at school.”  Lilly said as she pointed to the refrigerator.

 

Christen walked over to it.  Clearly it was their house with Tobin and Christen stick figures holding hands.  A little Lilly stick figure was chasing a ball.  There was a bright yellow sun in the upper corner wearing a smiley face.  _A smiley face on the sun just like I used to do. Did I teach her that?_

“See Momo in the corner?”  Lilly pointed.

 

“Yes.”  _Oh my god._   A stick figure dog named after her childhood dog.  Christen started to panic.  It was all so real.  So close to the bone of what she had dreamed her life would be like.  Just then Momo came in and rubbed her muzzle against Christen’s leg.  She absentmindedly reached down and petted her.

 

“Great picture Lilly.  I need to put you down now so I can use the bathroom.”  Christen said as she lowered Lilly to the floor.

 

“We’ll be waiting on you.”  Tobin called out as Christen fled the room.   She found a half bath down the hall and closed the door.  _Wake up._

 

Allie had been scanning the room.  She saw Christen stir and her eyes begin to flutter.  She made her way over to the woman.  “Everything ok?”

 

“I. Yes. I.  It was so real.  So. I don’t know.  Overly real maybe.” Christen was feeling a little bewildered.

 

“We can stop now if you’d like and credit the remaining 40 minutes.  It’s ok.  When you first start out, sometimes it does feel a little too real.”  Allie tried to sooth. 

 

“No.  I don’t want to stop.  It was just everything I ever dreamed of.  Tobin was…and Lilly.  They were so happy.”

 

“That’s what we aim for.  Maybe just sit for a few and I’ll come back and if you’d like, we can start again?”

 

“That sounds good.”

 

Mark was standing in the door way watching this exchange.  When Allie stood up he motioned her over.  “Is everything ok?”

 

“Everything is fine Mark.  Just a case of newbie jitters.”

 

“Is she going to stop?”

 

“No, she wants to go back.  Just taking a little break. She’s very happy with Tobin and Lilly.”

 

“When she’s done I want to do the exit interview with her.”

 

Allie waited 5 minutes and went back to Christen.  “How are you feeling now?”

 

“Fine.  I’d like to go back. Do I have to start all over?”

 

“Nope.  You can start right where you were or change it entirely.  Just tell your mind where you want to go.”

 

“I want to make dinner with them.  Quesadillas. Like we were.”

 

“Alright then.  Just lean back, relax again and picture it.”  Allie instructed as she restarted the program.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch Readers. Just hitting this one again to get the story going. I’ll be back on that. Gonna launch that Kreiger/Harris baby for sure. Thank you for jumping ships by the way. Hard to believe myself that I waded outside of my O’Solo stanning self. So’ Hara writers. I just can’t. Give me time. Like a decade or two. That’s just narcissist to me. Like I said, time. Morgan Heath shippers will agree. Stop now I say to myself. Gonna ignite a fight. I will be collateral damage. 
> 
> Mustang. Taking a time out. You know why. Miss you. Just cannot go there right now. The barrage is endless.


	3. Making Dinner With The Fam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen really wants it.

“And there she is.”  Tobin sang out as Christen re-entered the kitchen.  “Ready to cut up the peppers and onion while I grate the cheese cause we all know I’m the cheesiest?” Tobin followed up this little announcement with a wag of her hips.

 

“Sure thing.”  Christen agreed as she walked over to the counter.  She reached down to the cupboard and pulled out a cutting board.  _How did I know where it was?_ Christen looked behind herself.  Lilly was sitting at the island playing with some dolls and a ball.  It seemed like she was acting out a soccer match.  She had what looked like a little Momo set up in front of a paper cup. 

 

“Mommy shoots.  Blocked by Momo.”  Lilly called out.

 

“I missed?”  Christen asked.

 

“No Mommy.  Momo blocked.  She’s a good GK.”  Lilly informed her.

 

“Why don’t I start sautéing the vegetables while you make the guacamole?  Yours is always better.”  Tobin suggested.

 

 _Guacamole?  Just like the shopping trip try out._ “Can do.  Coming right up.”  Christen said as she slid down the counter where the avocadoes, cilantro, lime and other ingredients were set up. _When did she do this?_ Christen just shook her head to clear it and started in.

Tobin was just humming away as she poured some oil in the skillet and set the table while it warmed.  Then she placed tortillas on the griddle, piling them with cheese.  Tobin expertly tossed the vegetables in the skillet.

 

“You ok Chris?”

 

Christen froze.  “Yes.  Why do you ask?”

 

“You just seem a little distracted.  Everything at work ok?”  Tobin asked.  Halting what she was doing to look at Christen.

 

 _She has an honest face._ “All is fine.  The guacamole is done.”

 

“I am ready to load up the tortillas.  The cheese is melted.  Why don’t you help tiny there wash up.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.  Lilly would you put your dolls away please.”  _Right off the bat I am Moming her._

 

Lilly scooped up her dolls and put them in the cup, climbed off her chair and led the way to the ½ bath where she pulled out a little stool and stood by the sink.

 

“Water Mommy.”  Lilly cued her to turn on the spigot.

 

 _Right. Too small to reach it_. Christen tested the water with the inside of her wrist.  “Ok Lil.”

 

Lilly washed her hands, dried them on the towel and then took Christens hand as they walked back to the kitchen.  _Her hands are so little and warm._

 

Tobin was doling out the food onto the three plates.  Lilly took her place on the middle of the three chairs.  Christen automatically dipped out some sour cream onto Lilly’s plate.

 

“Lil, are you going to try the guacamole again?”  Tobin asked. 

 

Lilly just screwed up her face at the question.

 

“I guess that’s a no then.”  Tobin surmised.  “How about after dinner we do colors and shapes and then watch the bug movie?”

 

“Bug movie.  Bug movie.”  Lilly chanted.

 

“Colors and shapes first.”  Tobin held the line.

 

They finished eating and Lilly went to the living room to get the shapes ready while Tobin and Christen cleaned up the kitchen.

 

“You want the leftover for lunch?”  Christen asked Tobin.  _Why did I even say that?_

 

“Yes.  You sure you don’t?”

 

“You go right ahead.  Don’t forget the guacamole.”

 

“You are the absolute best.”  Tobin declared while she placed a kiss on Christen’s cheek.

 

Christen dropped the plate she was putting in the dish washer.  “Slippery.”  She offered.

 

Tobin and Christen joined Lilly in the living room.

 

“Can I go first?”  Lilly asked.

 

“May I.”  Christen corrected.  _Again with the Moming.  I can remember my Mom doing that._

 

“May I go first?”  Lilly rephrase.

 

“Yes you may short stack.”  Tobin said handing Lilly the spinner.

 

Lilly flicked the spinner and it landed on blue.  Lilly looked the shapes over.  “Blue starts with a B like ball.  A ball is a circle.”  Lilly explained as she picked up the blue circle.

 

“Good one Lilly.”  Tobin said as she flicked the spinner.  “Yellow starts with Y.  This crescent shape is yellow.  Hhmm, what is crescent shaped?”  Tobin pondered.

 

Lilly shot her hand in the air.  “I know.  I know.”

 

“Fingernail clipping.”  Tobin answered herself.

 

“No.”  Lilly shrieked.  “It’s the moon Momma.”

 

“What do you say Mommy?”  Tobin asked.

 

Christen realized she was the decider.  “I think in this game Lilly is right.”

 

“Ha.”  Called Lilly as she plucked the crescent out of Tobin’s hand.

 

Tobin put out her pouty lip and passed the spinner to Christen.  Christen drew red.

 

“Red starts with R.  This is a red square.  A box is a 3 dimensional square.  A box holds things.”  Christen held her breathe.

 

“Good one Mommy.”  Lilly said as she held up her hand for a high five.

 

“Yeah, good one.”  Tobin muttered as she followed suit with the high five.

 

“It’s not good to pout Tobin.”  Christen teased.

 

“Hey, I allowed 3 dimensional box to the woman that ruled out fingernail clipping.”  Tobin shot back.

 

They played three more rounds when Tobin noticed the time.  “Lil let’s get your pj’s on and teeth brushed so we can watch the bug movie.”

 

Lilly jumped up and ran up the stairs.  “How about you clean up and I’ll get her changed?”  Tobin offered.

 

“Sounds good.”  Christen replied as she began to round up the shapes.  Christen looked around.  _Where should I put this?_ She spied the book case that had a few other games on it.  Good enough she thought as she began to look around.  A picture frame held a picture of her, Tobin, and a small baby in what looked like a hospital room.  Christen was floored.  _Well who else would it be if not me?_ Christen next saw the bronze baby shoes.  Lilly’s of course.   _I have some.  Wonder if Tobin does?_   Then she remembered what she was doing.  _She will if I want her too._ Christen sassed to herself.

Just then Lilly came charging down the steps in her puppy pj’s.  _How fucking cute!_

“Bugs, bugs, bugs.”  She chanted dragging a blankie with Tobin hot on her tail.

 

Christen sat on the couch and Lilly crawled up into her lap.  _She just fits.  She is so warm._ Christen bent down and smelled her hair.  _So clean, fresh, and soft._

 

Tobin grabbed the remote, lifted Lilly’s legs and sat down right beside them while snaking an arm around Christens shoulders.  All Christen could feel was Tobin’s thigh up against hers and Tobin’s hand on her should drawing circles.  “Bug town here we come.”  Tobin announced as she brought the TV to life.  Tobin flicked through a few screens and the show came on.  Christen had expect A Bugs Life.  No, this was National Geographic.

 

************************

 

Allie had been keeping an eye on Christen.  Since she had gone back under she had stayed calm and was even smiling.  Mark came back out.  “How is she doing?”

 

“Picture perfect I would say.  She has about another 15 minutes.”

 

“I’ll be back then.”  Mark said as he went back to his office.

 

*********************

 

“That’s a bumble bee.  Starts with B.  Buzzz, buzz is the sound they make.”  Lilly proclaimed, startling Christen.

 

The show then segued into ants.  “That’s an ant.  Starts with A.  That is a leaf cutter ant.  They don’t make any sound.”  Christen was impressed to say the least.  _I have me one smart kid.  Ok, they may have watched this 100 times._

 

“Very good baby.”  Tobin said while patting Lilly on the leg.

 

“No.  I hate this part.”  Lilly wailed as she threw her blankie over her head.

 

Christen looked at the screen just as the forest floor was being swarmed by army ants.  Every living creature they came across was attacked.  Grasshoppers were being dismantled.  Legs, wings and even a head were being carried off. “It’s ok baby.  I got you.” Christen murmured as she pulled the girl in tighter and began to rub her back.  Soon enough the scene was over and Christen let Lilly know she could watch again.  Lilly carefully peeked out to make sure the coast was clear before completely emerging.

 

Soon the show was over and Tobin was helping Lilly upstairs to bed.  “I’ll read to her and you can let Momo out back.  Want to catch up on OITNB next?  Pop some popcorn?”

 

“Sounds good.”  Christen replied as she headed into the kitchen.  The popcorn was popped and placed in a bowl and two glasses of ice tea poured.  Christen dropped these items off on the coffee table and headed upstairs.  _Might as well see what’s going on._   Tobin was just closing the book when she appeared in the door way.

 

“Just in time for Twinkle, Twinkle Mommy.  Hit the light switch please.”  Tobin requested.

 

Christen did and right away she was amazed.  Lily’s ceiling was covered with glow in the dark stars.  Christen walked around to the opposite side of the bed and got in.

 

Lilly began singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.  Tobin joined in so Christened followed her lead.  They just sang the first stanza.  Then Lilly extended her arms.  Tobin took her hand so Christen took the other.  Lilly then recited Starlight, Star bright by herself with her eyes closed.  When she got to the last line about making a wish Lilly squeezed her hand and Christen squeezed back.  Lilly then received kisses on the cheek from both women as they exited her bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. I am a little behind on Catch. It has nothing to do with this story. I have an end game for Catch. Sure you do. Just things have been in the way. 100% taking care of investing readers of all stories. I want you to feel taken care of. I will always do that. You give me an inch I will take an inch not a mile. Well I guess this is for Catch readers and new Seat 17 trailerparktrixie readers.


	4. Her First Flashing Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christens first dream with Tobin comes to an end.

Tobin leapt over the couch landing in a half reclined position across it and patted her lap for Christen to join her.  Christen was conflicted.  _I don’t know this woman.  I can’t just curl up with her.  She’s not real.  This is my dream.  Supposedly what I want.  Is it_?  Christen looked down. _Yes it is._ Christen crawled onto the couch putting herself between Tobin and the back.  She was maybe ¼ on Tobin.

 

“Finally got you to myself.”  Tobin said while placing a kiss on her forehead and reaching for the popcorn.  “Let’s see what kind of trouble Piper is in now.”  Tobin chuckled while she hit play.

 

Christen wasn’t really watching the show.  She slowly let herself relax more into Tobin.  She listened to Tobin’s running commentary and light laughs while she tossed popcorn in her mouth.  _I haven’t felt this warm and cozy with someone since?_ Christen had to think.  _Honestly, not since my junior year in college.  Laying in my twin single dorm bed with Vero watching movies.  That all ended when Vero graduated a year before me and moved across the country for grad. school.  Long distance wasn’t her thing.  Had it really been that long?  Four years?_

Christen saw the flashing green light out of the corner of her eye.  Her dream session was almost over.  She snuggled down into Tobin deeper and closed her eyes.

 

“Babe?  Falling asleep on me?  Maybe we should go up to bed?”  Tobin gently asked.

 

They didn’t have enough time to go to bed and Christen didn’t think she could handle that.  “Why don’t we finish this episode?”  Christen said as she pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered them with it.

 

“I’m good with that.  Don’t forget Lilly’s soccer practice tomorrow Coach.”  Tobin said as she snuggled down further.

 

Christen could see the light was now flashing yellow.  She closed her eyes and breathed it all in.  Too soon it was red.  She grasped Tobin’s arm and waited for reality to intercede.

 

*****************

 

“Christen?  Christen?”  Mark called softly.

 

Christen slowly opened her eyes.  She felt confusion again.

 

“Are you ok?”

 

“Yes.  Is it over?”

 

“All over.  Let me just take off your headset.”  Mark said gently as he peeled the sensors off.

 

Christen felt reality come flooding in.  She didn’t want it.

 

“Do you think you can get up and follow me to the consult room for your exit interview?”

 

“Exit interview?”

 

“We like to do this with new customers and since you had a problem I just want to check in with you?”

 

“Sure.”  Christen said as she stood blinking and followed Mark.

 

“Allie tells me you woke up early.  About 20 minutes in.  Were you frightened?”

 

“Yes.  No.  Not frightened.  It was so real.  When I saw the house.  Met Tobin and Lilly.  Even Momo, our dog.  It was like I had always been there.  I even knew where stuff was.  It was maybe more confusing to understand at first.  I’m not sure how to describe it.”  Christen said at a loss for words.

 

“Well, it is your dream so everything is where you want it and as you want it.  Did you like it?  How about Tobin and Lilly?”

 

“Yes.  I really liked it.  It was perfect. I did what you said.  Came home from work.  Made dinner.  We made dinner.  Tobin and I.  We all played a game.  Even watched TV and sang a bedtime song.  Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.  Made wishes after Lilly recited Starlight Star bright. Was it really only an hour?  It seemed like hours to me.”

 

“Dream time goes at your pace.  It doesn’t really match up with reality time.  Did you feel rushed?”

 

“No.  It all seemed natural and relaxed.”

 

“Would you do this again?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Would you do dream 23 again?”

 

“Yes.  Like I said, it was perfect.  Just the way I always thought it should be.”

 

“I want to make sure you understand that you don’t have to keep doing the same dream.  You can have a different scenario every time if you’d like.”

 

“Good to know.  I am pretty happy with this one though.  Didn’t know I was getting a dog and coaching soccer.”  Christen giggled.

 

“Wow.  Sounds like you dove right in.  Any questions.”  Mark was touched by Christen reaction to the dream.

 

“Not that I can think of.”

 

“Great.  Let me walk you out then.”

 

Mark returned to his office and just stared at the ceiling.

 

“Knock, knock.”  Allie said.  “Everything alright?”

 

“Yeah.  It’s all good.  Christen really seemed to like it.”  Mark said as he drew circles on the pad of paper in front of him.

 

“Isn’t that what you want to hear? How do you feel?  Hearing about Tobin?”  Allie pressed slightly.

 

“I. Fine.  I mean.  It makes me think about it…..if……”  Mark trailed off.

 

“I thought it would.”  Allie said as reached out and took his hand.  “In a good way?”

 

“Yes and no.  It hurts a little.”  Mark confided.  “How many people do we have left?  Six or so?”

 

“Yes.  Would you like Lindsey and me to close up shop?”

 

“Would you?  That would be great.”

 

“You go home and get some rest Mark.  We can handle things.”  Allie said as she got up.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Next thing Mark knew he was sitting in his living room.  He couldn’t remember getting home.

 

“Tobin.  Fuck.  Tobin.”  Mark felt tears coming.  He willed them away.  He went and got a beer and returned to the couch.  He took a drink and then allowed himself to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone up for some background details on Tobin and how she became dream 23?


	5. The Story of Tobin  Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Tobin background that begins the story of how Dream 23 came to be.

Mark had just graduated from UNC.  He lucked out and got a job at Dream Escape writing programs for dreams.  What had cinched the job for him was his minor in english lit.  partnered with his major in computer programming.  Ed, over at Dream Escape, thought that would be the perfect combination for their company.  To encapsulate and format dream scenarios and then program them.  During the interview process Mark got to try out a couple of the programs they had.  At that point they were still game based. He was hooked.  The headsets were a little unwieldy but the concept was new and fresh.  He would be on the cutting edge of this technology.  It would be a step far above gaming as it existed now.  It would be living your game.

 

His phone rang.  “Hey Mom.”

 

“Hi Mark.  All set to start your new job next week?”

 

“You know it.”

 

“I just heard from your Aunt Cindy.  Tobin has been accepted at UNC.  Are you still on board with her living with you?”

 

“Yeah Mom.  Nothing’s changed.”

 

“Good to hear.  You sure you’re comfortable with her medical issues?”

 

“Yes Mom.  I did the training an all.  I’m sure.  When’s the little rat coming?”

 

“First of next month so she can get situated before classes and get acclimated.”

 

“Tell her to get cracking cause cousin Mark is waiting.”

 

“Ok honey.  I’ll tell them.”

 

Mark hung up his phone.  Seemed all official now.  Tobin was coming.  Mark checked the spare room again.  Yep.  Bed, dresser, and desk.  Everything she would need.  He felt for Tobin.  Her struggles being a severe diabetic.  It had curtailed so many things in her life.  Made her life a constant stream of monitoring and strictly following diet plans.  Not to mention all the doctor visits.  They had bonded over video and card games.  He had to admit Tobin was tough to beat even though he had four years on her.  Tobin, his little cousin that would retreat to the basement with him during family gatherings and wage epic game battles with him.

 

Three weeks later Mark was answering the door to Aunt Cindy and Tobin.  Mark helped them carry in the boxes and suitcases and then left them to get the room set up.

 

Aunt Cindy finally emerged.  “Well that’s done.  Mark, we should go over a few things.”  She said as she walked back into what was now Tobin’s room.  “This is Tobin’s night time monitor.  She needs to wear it every night.  It will alert you if she is having an issue.  If it goes off.  It will beep loudly.  You need to come in right away and check on her.  If it isn’t an equipment malfunction and she isn’t awake dial 911 right away and get an ambulance here.”

 

Tobin sat on the edge of the bed frowning.  She wouldn’t look at Mark.  “Now let’s go over her med journal and testing.”  Aunt Cindy said as she led them to the kitchen.  “This is a daily record of her eating schedule and testing regimen.  It is important that it’s followed to the letter.”  Aunt Cindy said as she gave Mark a stern look.  “Outside of that if you notice any strange behavior test right away.”  She stressed.

 

“Strange behavior?”  Mark puzzled.

 

“Yes.  If she seems disoriented or is short with you.  Angry.  Her levels might be off.”  Aunt Cindy explained.

 

“Or maybe I am just being pissy.”  Tobin shot in.

 

“Tobin.”  Aunt Cindy warned.  “It is time to test now so Mark why don’t you do it just for practice.”

 

Mark approached the equipment.  He had done this before.  He held the device to Tobin’s finger to draw a sample and then read the results and consulted the chart.  “She’s fine.”

 

“You did good Mark.  I checked the refrigerator and pantry.  Looks like you followed the list to a T.  Now, it’s time for me to leave.”

 

After their goodbyes Mark closed the door and he and Tobin sat in the living room.  “Sorry about all of that.  She’s just a little over the top on the protective scale.”  Tobin apologized.  “I appreciate everything you’re doing for me.”

 

“Hey little Cuz.  I’m just glad you’re here.  Do you want to see some of the Dream Escape stuff?  You won’t believe it.”

 

“I have read about it.  Sounds exciting.”

 

“Wow.  Shit.  Dammit Mark.”  Tobin exhaled as she lost to Mark in ping pong again.

 

“Well, I have had practice.”

 

“It’s so real.  Like I can reach out and touch the ball.  Like a 3D movie. Surreal even.”

 

“Wait until you try racing.”

 

**********************

 

And on they went.  Tobin settled into school and Mark brought home new versions of the games as they were improved.  Tobin was good at giving feedback on the games and making suggestions.  On quiet nights Mark sat at the table working on code and Tobin did school work.  Mark had to admit Tobin made for a pretty good roomie.

 

Mark made sure to check Tobin’s journal at least once a day.  Only once did he insist on checking outside the schedule when Tobin got mad and it seemed to drag on.  She was fine.

 

“What’s up Tobin?”

 

“Just.  I’m lonely.  I spend half my time trying hide while I test so they don’t know.  They stand around drinking power drinks.  And beer at parties and I stand out because I can’t.  I get teased.”

 

“Sorry.  I didn’t know.  Maybe if you just picked one out to confide in it would help.”

 

“No.  I don’t want them to know.  I mean they know somethings off.  They’ll treat me even more different than they already do.”

 

Two nights later Mark woke to the sound of chirping.  _Tobin?_   He raced out of bed to Tobin’s room.  He grabbed her and shook her.  Tobin’s eyes shot open.  “Mark, what the fuck?”

 

“I heard an alarm.”  Just then it sounded again.  It was a signal from the smoke detector that it was time to replace the batteries.  “Guess I jumped the gun.”  Mark sat back as he tried to calm himself down.

 

Tobin chuckled.  “Well it’s nice to know you are on the ball.”

 

*******************

 

Mark sat at work.  He was working on another reiteration of one of the first dream programs they were developing.  It was a simple walk in the park scenario.  You could choose different paths and scenery just by looking that direction.  He made a copy and took it home.  “Hey Tobs.  Wanna try out something new?”

 

Tobin liked it.  “Hey, I can even run.  What if you could do a bike or a skate board?  How about take someone with you?  That would be sweet.”

 

It made Mark think about Tobin saying she was lonely.  “Good idea Tobs.  We are working on that.  I mean that is the ultimate goal.  Having life experiences tailored to your desires.”

 

One month later Mark came home shouting for Tobin again.  “Put the head set on.  You’re going to school.”

 

“What?”

 

“Just do it. Oh, take a soccer ball with you.”  Mark advised.

 

“I. Yeah.  I’m juggling on the quad.”  Tobin was getting excited.  “Damn.  Lost the ball.  Oooh.”  Tobin froze for a minute and then ripped off her headset.  “There was a girl.  She kicked the ball back to me when I lost it.  We talked a little.  She looked just like Jenna.”

 

“Yep.  She’s your crush right?”  Mark teased.  Tobin had shown Mark pictures of some of the people she had hung out with.  There were a lot of Jenna and Tobin’s face just lit up every time she showed him one.  Long dark wavy hair with a brilliant smile and large deep green eyes

 

 “She’s just my lab partner in chem class.” Tobin started to argue and then dropped it.  “Can I do it again?”

 

Tobin stayed in the game for most of that night.  Mark could hear giggles and an occasional word.  He tried not to listen in.  Tobin entered the kitchen.

 

“I can tell she’s fake but it’s easy to forget, if you want to.  Sometimes the buildings fade or get a little muddy looking.  Can she be programed to say more?  I liked going to the cafeteria and eating whatever I wanted. The food looked a little fake but it was fun to pretend.”

 

Mark looked at Tobin.  She seemed so hopeful.  “Were working on it.  I’ll bring you an update as soon as we have it.”

 

Tobin threw herself at Mark.  “Thank you.”

 

Tobin continued to play the game almost every night.  Mark had to scold her about homework and eating more than once.

 

Six weeks later Mark burst in the door.  “Tobin, got an update.  You are going to love it.”

 

Tobin was in the living room in a flash, grabbing her headset and slapping it on.  “Ready.”

 

“Here’s a new headset.  Smaller.”  Mark said as he held it out to Tobin.

 

“Sweet.”

 

Mark loaded the update and turned it on.  “It’s still school but we have expanded it a lot and the people look more real and are more interactive.”  Mark watched Tobin.  At first there was no reaction other than the fact that she stayed stock still.  Then a smile slowly crept across her face.  She sat back in the chair.  It was two hours before Mark heard from her.  Well, he didn’t exactly hear from her.  More like felt her wrap him up in a big bear hug.  “You likey?”

 

“You’re the best.  I even got to try out for the soccer team.  I made it.  I drove a car and went on a date.  I need to learn how to dance.”

 

“Well if you noticed, it doesn’t reside on this computer anymore.  You now hook into the main frame at work.  You should see that thing humming.  It frankly is the only thing holding us back.  They’ve gotten two new ones since I’ve been there and we are expecting another one in the next week.”

 

Two months later Mark again had another update.  Tobin couldn’t wait. 

 

“Real.  Real.  Well close.”  Tobin shouted out while in the game that the company now started to refer to as Dreams.  “Sometimes shadows are missing.  Also, what I see at times, when I go someplace new, it looks like a film and it slows down a bit.”

 

“Absolutely what we are working on.  When you desire to go to the Zoo you now can be specific about what Zoo you want to go to and then the computer searches the web for every reference to it and pieces it all together to match up with your thoughts.”

 

Mark let her go until he realized it was past time for her to not only eat but test.  “Come on Tobs.  Time to snap out of it and take care ourselves.”

 

Tobin reluctantly did.  She was silent while she ate.  She did her tests.  She looked up at Mark.  “I would live there if I could.”

 

Mark saw tears in her eyes.  “Well lucky for you Cousin Mark keeps you up with the latest kid.  We are bring in groups of college students now to give it a whirl.  We also started working on other scenarios.  They’re a lot faster to develop now since we aren’t starting from scratch.”

 

“Could I graduate and get a job and you know………. live with someone? In the next one?”  Tobin hedged.  She was blushing.

 

Mark leaned back in his chair.  Tobin was asking for a common ordinary life with someone she loved. “And take a cruise around the world in a sailboat.  Climb Mt.  Everest.  Jump out of a plane.  Sky’s the limit.” 

 

Tobin just stared at him.  ”And not be sick.”  It was a statement of fact, not a question.

 

“Tobin you know you hardly ever play any of the other scenarios.  It might be good to change it up once in a while.  I know you like number 23 but still, a little variety might be good.”

 

“I’ve tried them.  I like number 23.  It makes me feel good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christen can't let it go and Tobin starts to prefer virtual existence over reality.


	6. I Smelled Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Can not give much intro. So caught up in US Women's Hockey World Champ battle with Canada. Sunday I will all be up in USWNT and Russia. Screaming and I don"t know the rules so much. Go US Gals.

Christen sat on her couch.  She had just gotten home from Dream Escape.  _I smelled that popcorn.  I tasted the butter.  I felt Tobin’s breath on the top of my head as I laid on her.  Her hand rubbing my back.  I wanted that?  Didn’t I?_

_Lilly was so skinny.  I need to fatten her up.  Am I really sitting here deciding I need to fatten up my imaginary kid?  Why didn’t she like guacamole?  I like it and Tobin does.  I guess four year olds don’t. Do they?_

_And, I made her (Didn’t I?) look like Tobin.  Did I have her?  How would that even work?  Pretty sure I did.  Well, will, or did since she is four.  Do I have stretch marks?  Stop this line of thinking now._

_And that bug show.  That makes no sense at all.  Does that exist or did I make it up?  Why would I choose to scare my own kid with army ants?_

_I need to talk to Syd.  No, I can’t talk to Syd she’ll make fun of me for picking such a lame dream.  Last time Syd did it she got it on with David Beckham of all people. How could you sit in that room with other people and do that?  Well other people do.  That’s kinda creepy.  Could I do that with Tobin?  We are supposed to be married after all.  Wait, just stop.  Don’t go there._

_What was up with the Volvo’s?  Why not a Honda or something reasonable?  I’ve never even been in a………………yes I have.  My Grandpa drove a Volvo station wagon and I always stayed with them for three weeks every summer. They would load up that station wagon and take me camping and we would play car bingo on the way.  I loved that.  So I did choose that.  It means good times.  I chose that for Lilly and Tobin._

_I need to stop thinking about this._

Christen picked up her laptop.  Before she knew it she was at the National Geographic site skimming through their programs.  _No that’s not it.  Nope, not that either.  That’s it.  Yes, this is what we watched.  It does exist._

_Wait.  I have seen this before.  A few years ago when I stayed home from work when I had that bad cold.  I did choose this.  Educational rather than Pixar. I meant to scare Lilly?  Am I a bad parent?  Lilly seemed to like me.  And she did act out all of those other bugs.  She did a mean prey mantis.  She didn’t seem to mind it when it ate that bug.  Lil and Tobin even had a little prey mantis battle. She was only upset about the army ants._

Christen snuggled down into the couch and watched the show except she wasn’t sitting on her couch in her apartment.  No.  In her mind she was sitting on their couch in the living room of a two story Tudor with a four year old on her lap and a twenty seven year old beside her.

***************************

 

It was Friday and Mark got home earlier than Tobin expected.  “Hey Cuz.”  She called out.  “Guess what soccer team is going to the NCAA Finals.”  Tobin shouted as she shut the game off and went to the kitchen when Mark didn’t answer.  Mark was sitting at the table with his head down.  “Mark?”

 

Mark put his head in his hands.  “She broke up with me.”  He said as he fingered the tumbler of whiskey he had poured.

 

“Susan?”

 

“Yes Susan.  Who else?”

 

Tobin felt bad.  Mark had been seeing Susan for over a year now and she knew he was serious about her.  He had even taken Tobin along on some of their dates.  “What happened?”  She asked as she sat down.

 

“Well let’s see?  Geek computer programmer and marine biologist.  Pretty much says it all there.”

 

“No it doesn’t.”

 

“You know how she interned on that research ship for what, three times now?  Guess what?  She’s taking a job on it.  And, I think there is a whole nother reason beside chasing fish down that she is doing it.”  Mark said as he refilled his glass.

 

“No?”  Tobin gasped.

 

“Yeah.  On her phone constantly.  Jim this and Jim that all the time.  Look at the picture Jim just sent me.”  Mark fumed.  “I knew he pictured on her Instagram too much.  I just checked his.  She comments on and likes everything he posts.  Who knows what else?”  Mark took a big swallow.

 

Tobin sat at the table all night with Mark as they commiserated until Mark got woozy on his drink and then Tobin helped him to bed.  Tobin stayed by Marks side all weekend, never once playing the game.  Mark didn’t really notice until Sunday afternoon.

 

“Come on Mark.”  Tobin cajoled.  “Let’s go see the new Star Wars movie that came out last week.”

 

Mark smiled at Tobin.  “Sounds good Cuz.”  And watch it they did and then went to a game arcade.  Mark was pretty sure Tobin let him win every game they played.  As Mark made his way down the hallway to bed he stopped in Tobin’s door.  “Thanks Cuz.” 

 

“You are a great guy Mark.  If Susan is too stupid to see it then that’s her fault.”  Tobin said with conviction.

 

***********************

 

Two months later Mark came home with the latest and greatest update.  “Tobs!  This is it.  The final version.  You are going to love it.  You can go anywhere.  Do anything.  It will blow your mind.  When you really get in to it, it’s like your mind starts feeling, sensing things.  Hell, I swear I even smelled lavender the other day.”

 

To Tobin that was telling.  Susan had been fond of lavender.  Seemed like she wasn’t the only one dependent on some dream living to escape reality.  “Sounds great Mark.”

 

Mark was hunched over the computer installing the latest updates.  “And you’re not going to believe this.”  Mark said as he tossed Tobin a box.  “That’s your new headset.”

 

“Damn.”  Tobin let out as she unboxed the head set.  Now longer would her eyes be covered by a visual screen.  All there was now was a headband and 6 sensors.

 

“It’s all in your head now Tobs.”  Mark explained as he stepped towards her and began hooking her up.  “This is going to blow your mind.”  Mark promised.  “You just start thinking about it.  Like day dreaming and it will happen.”

 

Tobin sat back and closed her eyes.  She envisioned herself on her longboard going to chem class.  There she was, Jenna.  Tobin shouted out to her.  Jenna turned with a big smile on her face and then she tumbled to the ground.  Jenna had tripped over a crack in the sidewalk.  _Did I do that?_ Tobin raced to a stop beside Jenna and reached out her hand to help Jenna up.  _I feel her hand.  It’s so warm.  She’s gripping me._

 

“A little help here Tobs.”  Jenna said.

 

“Yeah, sorry.”  Tobin was shocked.  Jenna had never called her Tobs before.  Tobin let very few people call her that.  _Looks like Jenna is one of those few._   Tobin pulled to hard as Jenna was struggling to her feet causing Jenna to fall into Tobin.  _Her hair.  I can smell her hair.  I know what it smells like because I have spent hours huddled over a lab table with her._ Tobin flew out of the recliner.  Eyes wide open, gasping for air.

 

“Tobs?  You ok.  Tobs?”  Mark asked concerned.  Tobin’s eyes were wild.  She looked like she had seen a ghost or something.

 

“Her hand.  I felt her hand.  It was warm.”  Tobin turned to Mark.  “I smelled hair.”

 

Mark burst out laughing despite being a little concerned.  “You smelled hair?  Why?”

 

“Well shampoo I guess.  I want to go back.”  Tobin said as she sat back down and closed her eyes.

 

Mark kept an eye on Tobin.  This was different.  Tobin sat still the whole time.  No giggling.  No reaching out or saying ‘yeah right’.  At times her brow furrowed.  He wondered what Tobin was doing in her dream.  He had an idea.  He had a dream of his own.  Number 54, Susan. 

 

Two hours had gone by and Tobin had hardly moved a muscle.  It was time to eat and test again.  Besides, Mark wanted to ask Tobin how it felt in the dream and what she did.  “Tobs.  Wakey, wakey.”  Tobin didn’t respond.  “Come on Tobs.  Time to come up for air.”  Mark said as he shook her harder.

 

Tobin came to mad.  “Mark, what the fuck?  Leave me alone.”  Tobin snarled.

 

“No Tobs.  Time to eat, NOW.”  Mark was firm.

 

“I already ate.”  Tobin said with a straight face.

 

“Maybe in your dream Tobin.  Time to do it for real.”

 

Tobin had grumbled the whole time they made dinner and was now sitting at the table scowling while she viciously stabbed her food. 

 

“So how was it? The game.  Well, we’re calling them dreams now.”  Mark asked.

 

Tobin sat back.  “I didn’t believe you.  I mean I just didn’t think it was possible.  I felt the wind in my hair when I was on my skateboard.  I tasted the food when I ate.  I have never eaten raspberry cheese cake before.  Did it really taste like that? So I also ate a raw carrot.  The carrot tasted exactly as it should and it crunched in my mouth so I think the taste of the cheesecake was real.  I did everything I did in the earlier versions to compare.  I felt the impact on my foot when I kicked the soccer ball.  I made it rain and felt the rain drops hit my face.  It was as real as sitting here.”

 

“Are you going to play some more tonight?”

 

“No.  I think I’ll just go to bed.”  Tobin said as she got up.

 

Mark was confused by Tobin’s reaction.  She was usually giddy and enthused when he brought home an update.  Now she just seemed confused or sad even. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has a story. Christen is falling for it. Falling might not be right. Wants it.  
> Tobs, Mark, Lavender, Angst. I kinda hate me.


	7. Justify That Thirst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am a cord cutter with a throwback phone. Not happy with Go90. Not having a computer app. Not happy. Although, our gals are getting on the pitch. Yes for that.

It was Saturday evening and Christen was sitting at her kitchen table with her computer in front of her and a pad of paper.  _Shit why does Dream Escape have to be so expensive?  The best way to go is to buy a package deal.  I just need to figure out how I am going to justify that money being spent._

_I need to cut some things out.  I could make my own coffee in the morning rather than buying it.  Cut out those mani pedi’s I get every two weeks.  Lots of people paint their own nails.  Stop with the impulse buying on Amazon._

_I have that Christmas money left.  Am I really going to spend $400 on a five session package?  If I went once a week that would last five weeks._

_Once a week seems too much.  How about every other week?  I am going to do it next Friday just to get more use to it._

_Ok.  Do it next Friday and if I still really like it, then i can buy the package._

 

A knock on her door broke Christen out of her internal battle.  She wasn’t expecting anyone.  She peered out of her peephole.  It was Syd.  Christen opened her door.  “Syd what are you doing here?”

 

“I came to help you get ready to go out.”  Syd informed her as she breezed in.

 

“I said I wasn’t going tonight remember?”

 

“Girl you need to get out and socialize.  You are not to staying holed up in here.  Now let’s get you dressed.  We need to meet the girls down at the Pink Pistol at 9:00.  I know your gorgeous an all but we need to ramp that up to hot and that doesn’t happen in a minute.”  Syd said as she took Christen’s hand and started for her bedroom.

 

“Fine.”  Christen gave in.

***********************

 

Mark got up and walked past Tobin’s bedroom.  Tobin was already up.  He walked into the living room and found her in the dream.  He checked the timer.  She had been dreaming for 30 minutes.  She had a grin on her face and looked so peaceful.  He went into the kitchen and found a bowl and glass in the sink.  Well, at least she had breakfast first.  He decided to go for a run and leave Tobin in peace.

 

Mark returned and found Tobin still in the dream.  He ate breakfast and took a shower.   Tobin had now been in the dream for over two hours and it was time for her to take a break.  “Tobs wake up.”

 

“Mark.”  Tobin huffed.  “You have the worst timing.”

 

“Hey. You have been on that thing for over two hours, it’s time to take a break.  Don’t you have homework to do?”

 

“Yes.  I know you’re right, but it was just getting good.”

 

“Yeah?  What were you doing?”

 

“I……….well um………..I went on a date.”

 

“You did.  How’d it go?”

 

“Great so far.  We went to a movie, then to dinner and now were at a club.  I tasted everything.  I could feel the vibrations from the music.  Remember in the old version I told you I needed to learn how to dance?”  Tobin asked.

 

“Yes.  Did you ever?”

 

“No.  But, I don’t need too anymore.  In this version I can dance up a storm.  It’s so great.”

 

“Regular little Fred Astaire are you?”  Mark laughed.

 

“Mark, I was just about to take her home.  Is it ok to kiss someone on a first date?”  Tobin was blushing and biting her lower lip.

 

“Tobs, you dog.”  Mark kidded.  “If you’ve known her for a while and the date was good I think that would be ok.  Now come on.  You have work to do and so do I”

 

“Mark this game.  This dreaming.  It is going to make a lot of people happy.  And she did twerk on me so I think a kiss is not out of line.”

 

**************************

 

It was Wednesday and Christen had just booked a session at Dream Escape for that Friday.  She reserved seat 17 again and dream 23 for 5:30.  Now all she had to do was wait on time and she swore the world was revolving slower just to get her.

 

“Oh.  Christen you’re going to do it.”  Syd squealed from behind her.

 

_Shit Syd saw._ “Just going in for a consult.”  Christen hated lying to Syd but she wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.

 

“I thought you did that last week on your lunch?”  Syd was confused.

 

“No.  I just stopped there to take a look around.  It seemed on the up an up.  I mean you’re happy with it right?”

 

“Hell yes.  You are going to love it.  You have to wait 24 hours before you can actually do it after the consult, but you’ll get a little taste of it during your consult. They make you go grocery shopping of all things.  We could do it that Saturday?”

 

“Maybe.  If I even like it.  Syd, how often do you do it?”

 

“It varies.  It’s sorta spendy and I am not giving up getting my hair and nails done.  I did pass on a pair of shoes a few weeks ago so I could do it and I’m sure David Beckham misses me so any time.”

 

“Syd.  You ever heard of TMI?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mark knows. He has to do something.


	8. Mark Makes A Few Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about your luck cause you follow me.

Time just seemed to fly by for Mark.  He was so busy at work.  Putting in a lot of hours and working at home also.  Tobin was spending as much time as Mark allowed her too dreaming.  To stop disagreements about it Mark installed a timer so it would shut off after two hours and could not be restarted for another two to force Tobin to do other things.  But she was happy.  Mark couldn’t deny that nor did he want to take it away from her, but he was finding it concerning.  Should he limit her further? 

 

He himself was finding it difficult to stay away from his own dream, number 54.  He knew he was spending time with dream Susan rather than making the effort to find a new real Susan for his life.  He hadn’t heard Tobin even talk about anyone at school for, well he didn’t know.  If he was going to ration Tobin then he would do the same thing with himself.  It was only fair.

 

Mark was sitting at the kitchen table working on a dream for work.  He was under the gun.  The first five Dream Escape lounges was going to open in a month in New York, Miami, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Dallas.  The company had invited 50 people in each city for a free one hour session.  Mark had suggested that they pick people in each city with a large SM presence.  Now he had to finish off the last three dreams of the 100 that were required for the opening.  Tobin was sitting at the table doing homework as she waited on her two hour dream time out to elapse.  “Tobin.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“We need to talk about the amount of time you are spending dreaming.”

 

“What do you mean?  You already do.”  Tobin was not liking where she had a hunch this was going.

 

“Tobin I can’t remember when was the last time you said anything about someone at school.  I think it’s been since Jenna graduated and moved back home.  All you do is go to class and come home to dream as much as you can.”

 

“Jenna was the only one who didn’t mind.  She’s gone now.”

 

“Tobin, you aren’t even working at finding a……………………….new Jenna.  You don’t have too if you can come home and have her in a dream.”

 

“Your one to talk Mark.  Susan number 54.  You do it every night.  You haven’t even been out on a date.”

 

“I know Tobin.  That’s why I’m doing this.  It stopping both of us from moving on.  I’m putting a password lock on it tonight.  You can have it twice a week.”

 

“No!”  Tobin bellowed raising out of her seat.

 

“I’ve made up my mind Tobin.”

 

“Why do you get to decide?  Who put you in charge of it?”  Tobin was furious.

 

“Your Mother for one.”  Mark countered.  “Tobin I know you’re upset, but it’s for the best.”

 

“You brought that home.  You made it for me.  ME! It’s mine.”

 

“Tobs, you’re right.  I did bring it home and I made that dream for you.  I did it because I love you. I just didn’t know it would become all consuming.  And no, it’s not yours. It’s not even mine.  The company owns it.”

 

“I hate you.”  Tobin raged as she grabbed her stuff and stomped off to her room slamming the door.

 

“Fuck.”  Mark sat back and stared at the ceiling.

 

It was late.  Tobin hadn’t come out of her room all night.  Mark walked by her room on the way to his.  He could see light at the bottom of the door.  Then he heard it.  Tobin was crying.  Mark knocked gently on the door.  “Tobs?”

 

“Don’t call me that.”

 

“Tobin I just want to make sure you have your monitor on.”

 

“Go away.”

 

“Tobin.”  Mark tried the handle.  It was locked.  He had a key.  He could unlock it.  _No, I’ve taken away enough from her.  I can’t take her privacy away._ “Just be sure to put it on. Ok?”

 

“Fine.  It’s on.  Now go away.”

 

***********************************

 

_Thank you Lord for making it 5:00._ Christen exclaimed as she hurriedly starting shutting things down so she could leave and head over to Dream Escape. 

 

“Look at you.  On the ball. Just can’t wait can you?”  Syd teased.  “Going to dream land?”

 

Christen blushed.  _Am I that obvious?_ “Finally going to go see what everyone is talking about.  I hope it’s as good as they say it.”  Christen hated telling these half lies to Syd but she just didn’t see any way out of it if she wanted to keep it to herself for just a little longer.

 

“Well just relax and have fun going to the grocery store.”  Syd called out as Christen walked out the door.

 

Allie looked up just as Christen was walking in the door.  “Hi Christen.  I just pulled your headset and prepped your chair for you.  Do you still want number 23?”

 

“Hi Allie.  Seat 17 right?  Yes, can’t wait to get back and have some fun with Tobin and Lilly.  When I left, we had a soccer practice scheduled for Lil’s team and guess who the coach is?”  Christin exhaled as she gave a little “it’s me” wave followed by a giggle.

 

“I gotcha.  Sounds like you can’t wait.  Ready?”

 

“Yes.  Today has taken forever to get here.”  Christen exclaimed as she followed Allie back to the dream room.

 

“Here we are.  I’ll just turn the heater on.  Go ahead and sit down.”  Allie pulled the headset out of the box.  “Have you any questions Christen?  Hold your hair back while I attach these.  Wouldn’t want any to get stuck in the adhesive.”

 

“Nope.  I’m good.” 

 

“All right then.  You are ready to go.  Remember to just lay back, start by relaxing your feet and working your way up.  Then just start thinking about your dream.”

 

“Thanks Allie.”

 

“You’re welcome Christen.  I’ll be back when your time is up.  Have fun.”  Allie said along with a light pat to Christens shoulder.

 

Allie walked to doorway where she could keep an eye on Christen.  Christen rolled her shoulders a couple of times and then pushed the chair into the reclining position and folded her hands in her lap.  Allie watched for another minute and saw Christen smile.  All was good.

 

“Hey Mark.  Just thought I’d let you know Christen is here.  She is doing number 23 again.  Said they were having soccer practice today.  She seemed pretty happy about it.”

 

“Not surprised.  She did say she is coaching Lilly’s team.”  Mark smiled.  “Wonder if Momo gets to go?”

 

“Momo?”

 

“Yes.  Seems like Tobin now has a dog with a weird name.”  Mark laughed. 

 

**********************

 

Mark woke up.  He had hardly slept at all after the fight with Tobin after telling her he was limiting her to twice a week.  He walked down the hall to her room only to find it empty.  He walked into the kitchen and found evidence that she had eaten and her journal had been updated.  _At least she is taking care of herself.   She probably went to school early to avoid me.  This is going to be hard.  On us both._

 

Mark made sure to get home from work on time.  He was hoping to talk to her but Tobin wasn’t home.  _How long is this avoidance gonna last?_ Mark waited until it near dinner time to call Tobin.

 

“Tobin.  Are you on your way home?”

 

“No, I’m in the library.”  Tobin said flatly.

 

“Tobs it’s half an hour until dinner.  How about packing up and heading this way?  I’ll get things started.”

 

“I told you not to call me Tobs.  I’ll get something to eat here.”  Tobin wasn’t budging.

 

“Tobin please?”

 

“Fine.”

 

Tobin walked in the door exactly half an hour later.  Mark had just finished preparing the dinner.  “Glad you came.  Why don’t go put your stuff away while I plate this up?”

 

Mark waited through their silent dinner until they were almost done.  “How about Tuesdays and Fridays?”

 

“For what?”

 

“Your dream days.”

 

“I want Saturday and Sunday.”

 

“No.”

 

“Why not?  You said two days.  That’s two days.”

 

“That would be counterproductive.  You would sit in that chair for 48 hours straight dreaming every two hours.  Pick two other days.”

 

Tobin threw her fork down.  “You just keep changing the rules don’t you?”

 

“Tobin I know you are mad, but I’m doing this your own good.  Mine also.”

 

“Take the timer off then.”

 

Mark sat back.  He had to give her something.  She obviously had been thinking about this.  “How about I change the restart time-out from two hours to one?”

 

“Fine Mark.  After all, you do make the rules.”  Tobin spat out as she left the table and slamming the door to her room again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have done squat for this and less then that for Catch followers. Made a vow to finish. Which one? Not gonna argue, Catch deserves some focus.


	9. Is This Home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I reworked it cause someone didn't like it. You weren't wrong. How could I say you were when I rewrote the last 3rd or so. And that's a head's up, only the last is rewrote OR FIXED. Thank you for wanting more. I'd mention you but I deleted it. Bad me.

“Mommy.  Momma.  Why are you sleeping on the couch?”

 

Christen’s eyes flew open.  There was Lilly right in front of her face.  _What?_   Christen rose up on her arms.  One of those arms happened to be planted in Tobin’s chest.

 

“Aarruuggh.” Tobin let out as one of her legs shot up between Christens which shoved Christen forward.

 

“Shit.”  Christen let out as she felt Tobin’s face between her breasts.

 

“Swear Jar.”  Lilly and Tobin called out with Tobin’s face still planted between her breasts.

 

“What?”  Christen got out as she backed up to support herself on her elbows.

 

“Momo is hungry.”  Lilly informed.

 

That is all Momo had to hear to join in.  Momo ran to the couch and stuck her wet nose in Christen’s ear.   

 

“Eeww.” Christen screamed as she reached up to shield her ear causing her to tumble off the side of Tobin’s couch.

 

Tobin followed her in a waterfall over the side and straddled her while pinning her arms down allowing Momo unfettered access to her face.

 

Then she saw the light it was flashing yellow.

 

_No. Just NO. I got to sleep with her and it all was wasted on the couch. OK. Not wasted. Just Syd did things with David Beckham I wanna do. I think. Don’t I? I do dam it. Why did we ever have kids? She is so freaking cute. I gotta coach her game. TODAY. And spray the house for ants._

Red light _._

_Nnnooo…._

“Hey you.” Allie cajoled.

Christen felt sluggish and not entirely sure where she was. She woke up and was confused by what she was seeing. A different kind of red flashing lights and two EMT’s trying to help another dreamer.

“I know. It’s frightening but he was 72. Came in here every week saying he was going home. Today is their 50th anniversary so not surprised.” Allie breathed trying to calm Christen.

“I saw on the News other things.” Christen said with an edgy voice. “She was 25.”

“Hard things happen at early times and you can’t always convince them of brighter days. And Sam wasn’t going to have one. Not going to lie to you. They want to go to their version of home. Wrong or right.” Allie shrugged her shoulders. She thought of Mark.

Christen rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “He was nice to me the few times I saw him.”

“Yes. That’s how it is, you kinda know it.” Allie said as she stored Christen’s set. “Look. It’s not easy being here. You know what you feel when you see it. Won’t change it. So you let it happen. Is that so wrong?” Allie questioned.

“No. But 25?” Christen sputtered. _This was so much more than Syd got._

“If you thought that’s all it was you wouldn’t be here.” Allie spat out. “You wanted seat 17 and dream 23. Only one ever approved. Was I wrong? Meet’s a need you don’t feel in the here and now?”

Christen was taken aback. At first she though Allie’s words were sharp but in retrospect. They had weary drape all over them.

 

“How is she?” Mark was a bit terse. Allie talked him into this and now it went to shit.

“Christen is fine although thinking.” Allie didn’t want to say the truth but she did.

“About 23, Tobin?” Mark was ready to close down shop.

“NO. Not Tobin. Just the guy that went home today.” Allie was being careful but truthful.

“Is she afraid? Can we help her?” Mark did not want to see the one person he approved for Tobin go away.

“I think I got it. Just went home. All taken care of.” Allie thought that was true but a small part of her mind said no.

 

Mark hit his recliner while cracking open a beer. “Tobin.” He muttered while letting himself get lost in memories.

**Author's Note:**

> Have the ability for a boat load of angst. You want it?


End file.
